Hedia has a new thing that she likes to do. She likes to make me cry. It’s always for good reason. She tells the saddest, most heartbreaking stories, and I cry. Subsequently, between Hedia’s stories and the state of my life right now, I do a lot of crying. I’m not sure that it’s all bad. Lord knows I went for YEARS without crying. So now, I cry a lot. Like making up for lost time or something.
The thing is, though, that I never cry over huge things. Not a lot, anyway. Little things, though, like Hedia’s stories set me off. I cry thinking about distant future possibilities that will probably never happen. I cry thinking about distant future events which will happen eventually for days and days and days like they’re happening now.
I’m not sure it’s a craft technique, but for now it seems to work. I take it as a sign that I’m still heavily invested in this story, which is important if I’m going to keep writing it. For a while, I was concerned because I was excited about other projects, and then writing TRTL seemed to slow to a grinding halt. I’ve been writing a little again, held up by lack of time, lack of communication and lack of energy. It seems like I have to be exhausted to write now. Maybe exhaustion is the only time my mind isn’t racing fast enough to drown out the rest of the world. Maybe that’s when I’m calm enough to slow down and just listen. Either way, work continues, stories flow, and I cry.