At this time last week, I was finishing up my notification phone calls.

After I told my mom that my Godmother had died, I called my Godfather back and asked if he wanted me to do the notifications for the church people that have kept in touch with my Godmother and who love her and shouldn’t hear the news through the grapevine. He said yes, so Friday night, after informing my mom and my sister, I started calling people. Some I had to leave messages for, and they called me back the next day. The rector of my church announced it at our three weekend masses, and remembered her in the Eucharist.

I am still having such a hard time fathoming that she is gone. I am comforted by the fact that she is no longer in pain from her chronic illnesses, and that she is with God, but of course that doesn’t change the fact that her loved ones miss her and want her here.

On another note: my life continues to be crazy busy, and my lupus symptoms, while not as severe as they were a year ago, continue to plague me. My Raynaud’s is still quite bothersome, and brain fog, exhaustion, and sleep disturbances continue to be near-constant companions. This makes writing incredibly difficult, and though there is nothing I’d like more than to write and also to edit my nearly-finished book, many days it’s so far out of the question that it’s in another country. I am hoping that, as summer approaches, my life will calm down substantially, and I’ll be able to return to being an artist, but as this week has taught us once again, nothing is ever certain.

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